"Changing your words changes your thoughts, ultimately changing your life!"
Imagine, if you will, walking into a room filled with mirrors. Each mirror reflects a different aspect of you; some reflect achievements, while others reflect losses. Try applying this illustration of how different contingencies (mirrors) of self worth work in your psyche. They're dynamic constructs that map our self-worth based on different aspects of your life.
Coined by psychologists Crocker and Wolfe, the concept of contingencies of self worth revolves around the idea that self-esteem isn't just a static concept but varies and sways depending upon certain contingencies or possibilities - effectively determining how to develop self-worth. These contingencies could be the approval of others, our physical appearance, or academic or professional abilities.
Imagine a day when you received a fantastic evaluation at work and your heart overflows with pride and self-worth. However, an unforeseen circumstance blows away your thoughts of promotion the next day, drowning you in a whirlpool of self-doubt. These varying instances exemplify how contingencies, like a tide, rise and fall – taking our self-worth along with it.
The
issue in this lies with the outsourcing of our self-worth to external factors. You
hinge your happiness on unstable situations and individuals. A work mistake
suddenly transforms into a shattering attack on your identity. Breaking out of ba
continual cycle of such contingencies of self-worth becomes essential for maintaining
emotional self-sustainability.
The
societal norm to base your self-worth on comparative success can often lead to
harmful emotional health effects. Echoing the sentiments of Eleanor
Roosevelt, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Practicing
taking control away from such possibilities helps build and nurture your inner strength
and emotional resilience.
Embracing
your journey of self-discovery and appreciating the strength within you will lead you toward a pathway to a healthier sense of self-worth. It starts by you learning to break the
endless chain of comparisons and focus on your own journey.
One of your first steps is to practice "installing" the new idea that affirmations
of your self-worth play a critical role in dealing with low self-worth. Reflecting on personal growth, body positivity, and compassionate self-talk are small but valuable steps on your journey to self-empowerment.
A
powerful technique to build self-esteem lies in self-compassion. This technique
refers to treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you extend
to others - particularly during a difficult time or in other words when things don't
go as planned.
Learn to live authentically. To embrace authentic living involves aligning your actions with
your genuine values and desires. The other side of it is the continual approval-seeking
behavior that can lead to emotional instability.
Consider this, academic ability and professional achievements shouldn't define your self-worth by themselves. Broadening your horizons and embracing other interpersonal skills will lead to nurturing a more rounded sense of self-worth.
It's like rolling a small snowball down a hill, it gradually grows in size and builds momentum. You want to change your brain's negative self-talk to positive supportive self-talk.
Approaching your self-worth journey with patience and persistence will grant you the power to overcome insecurities and construct a positive self-image. The path is loaded with obstacles, but the journey rewards you with a renewed sense of self and boosts overall well-being. Remember, "Your worth is not measured in likes, comments, notes, or followers; but in your ability to love, keep comments to yourself, take note and lead." - Abhijit Naskar.
Return to Why Self Worth Important
"Thoughts create our feelings. When our thoughts are all over the place, our feelings are as well. Most people on the planet believe their feelings are indicative of something that's true. They're not. Our feelings are only temporary reflections of our thoughts."
Wanda Vitale
TheEmpoweredEmpaths.com
"Think like Spring; always embrace renewal and growth."