"Changing your words changes your thoughts, ultimately changing your life!"
Self Worth in a Relationship
Hello my friend! If you are here to understand self worth in relationships you are exactly where you should be at this moment. As we plunged headfirst into the post-pandemic world, many of us grappled with relationships, both old and new, some have weathered storms of uncertainty and change while others crumbled.
For
many, like me, these challenges have stirred up feelings of self-doubt and
insecurities. In my experience, the cornerstone of dealing with these feelings
starts with understanding your own self worth in relationships.
What is Self Worth in Relationships?
Before we dive into techniques to boost self worth in relationships, let’s first understand what it means. Self-worth is the inherent value that you assign to yourself, independent of other people's opinions or external achievements.
In relationships, your self-worth often determines how you allow others to treat you, and how you perceive your partner's actions and words. In my case, the key part of this paragraph is "how you allow others to treat you." Upload this to your brain right now.
It will pay you big dividends, if you take time for yourself before just leaping into a relationship. Get to know the other person, first.
The Not so Visible Emotional Traps
It's easy to fall into a trap where we let our partners define our worth for us. I know firsthand how this can be damaging. For instance, having low self-esteem in men can lead them to accept mistreatment, or to overcompensate by trying to control their partners.
Similarly, low self-esteem in women can result in them staying in detrimental relationships because they don't believe they deserve better. For an insider view on low self-esteem, worth and confidence I recommend this book by Brené Brown "The Gifts of Imperfection"
So, take the time to spend some quality alone time and consider what you really want in a relationship. What type of a relationship will allow you equanimity and self-worth?
A Lack of Self-Respect is Reflected in Relationships
When
you lack self-worth, your relationships reflect that. Your confidence dwindles,
anxieties frequently crop up, and you constantly seek approval and fear
rejection. I've been there, wrestling with these very thoughts. But here's a
liberating truth, "you are more deserving of healthy relationships than
you might think".
Building self-worth can feel like an overwhelming journey, but remember,
"Change happens in the doing". Increasing your self-worth will
tremendously improve your relationships and overall mental health. When you
treat yourself with kindness, and respect, and believe in your worth, it
subconsciously helps others to do the same.
Be Aware of the Signs of Low Self-Worth
Be
careful though! Low self-worth can creep into your life subtly. Keep an eye out
for signs such as constantly seeking approval from your partner, shying away
from expressing your opinions, feeling inferior, frequently apologizing when
it's not needed, and accepting mistreatment.
What to do When You Recognize the Symptoms Exist
I imagine these symptoms may feel familiar to you. So, how do you counteract this? The initial step is recognizing when low self-worth is influencing your thought process and relationship patterns. The brain tends to loop negative criticism, so develop positive power words to override feelings of unworthiness.
You will need to disrupt the negative loops with the positive time and again…until your positive power words override the negative loops and reprogram your brain and will positive seeds in your self worth in relationships.
In my case, they brought me to a fork in the road of my life forward. I found immense value in focusing on self-love. Learning to love yourself can seem like a challenging task, but it is the foundation of healthy self-esteem. Practice self-compassion, forgive your mistakes, and celebrate your small wins.
To take a deeper look at self-compassion I recommend this book by Shannon Kaiser called "The Self-Love Experiment: Fifteen Principles for Becoming More Kind, Compassionate, and Accepting of Yourself"
Nurturing Relationships are Vital
It's
also crucial to surround yourself with nurturing relationships that make you
feel valued. If someone consistently puts you down or disrespects you, it's entirely
okay to walk away. Remember, you deserve to be treated well.
Part of nurturing your self-worth involves setting clear boundaries in your
relationships. Do not sacrifice your needs for the sake of pleasing others.
Assert your rights, and don't shy away from saying no when the situation
demands it.
Emotional health in relationships is equally critical. Self-worth and emotional
well-being are deeply connected. When we are mentally and emotionally healthy,
we are more likely to believe in our worth, and vice versa.
How to Reinforce Positive Self-Image
One way to reinforce positive self-image is through uplifting self-talk. Start your day by affirming your worth, strengths, and uniqueness. Positive self-talk such as "I am deserving of love and respect", "I believe in my abilities", and "I am more than enough", is empowering.
One way NOT to reinforce your positive self-image is by falling into the trap of comparing yourself to others. Stop doing that! You are a unique and incredible being in this life.
As you consistently make this a part of your daily practice you will find you are beginning to change. By changing in positive ways, and becoming more confident in yourself, you will grow into healthy self-esteem.
Investing in Your Self-Improvement and Growth
Investing in self-improvement and personal growth will also significantly elevate your self-worth. Pull out all the stops to develop skills, pursue hobbies, polish talents, and essentially, become the best version of yourself.
But remember what I always put out to you, “Change happens in the doing.” Just by the simple act of applying action, you are initiating change. It’s in the doing.
I want you to really pay attention to self worth in relationships,
Learn to Confront and Challenge Negative Self-Talk
Furthermore, it's necessary to confront and challenge negative self-talk. Instead of criticizing yourself for past mistakes, focus on future opportunities. Replace the narrative "I am a failure" with "I am learning and growing" and “I am extraordinary.” Extraordinary is one of my favorite and most used power words.
Recognizing Your Right to Be Treated with Respect
Understanding your self worth in relationships also involves recognizing your right to be treated with kindness and respect in all your relationships. Trust and self-worth are intertwined. It's hard to trust someone when you keep questioning your worth in their eyes.
Please read that last sentence again, “questioning YOUR self-worth in their eyes.” Don’t ask for someone else's approval or validation, instead be your own best validator of your self-worth. You will find the whole level of communication changes…in your favor.
This is Important: Don't Rush the Process
Lastly, do not rush the process. Cultivating high self-worth is a journey, not a race. Be gentle with yourself and remember, you're in the process of becoming who you're meant to be.
Positive change fascinates me. Witnessing the transformation in my relationships once I started valuing my worth was enlightening. You too will start observing the ripple effect of positive change affecting various areas of your life once you start respecting your self-worth.
To sum up, your self-worth plays a considerable role in how your relationships unfold. Understanding and respecting your self-worth is the key to creating and maintaining thriving, healthy relationships.
Today marks a new beginning for you to embrace your worth, nurture your relationships, and evolve toward self-acceptance. Go ahead and sow the seeds of optimism in the fertile ground of your self-worth. It's one of the best investments you'll ever make!
Summing it All Up for You
In conclusion, the journey toward understanding and nurturing your self-worth is a clarifying transformation that not only elevates your relationships but also improves your overall mental health.
This article illuminates the significance of self worth in relationships, how to cultivate a positive self-image, and how to nurture your relationships, in ways fitting the inherent value that you assign to yourself.
It serves as a powerful compass on
your journey to self-discovery and self-acceptance, empowering you to evolve
toward a future where you can confidently assert your worth in all
relationships.
I invite you to explore more pages on this website for additional insights into
self-improvement and better mental resilience. You'll find a treasure trove of
invaluable resources, personal experiences, and advice that can help revitalize
your journey.
From your personal power words to challenge negative self-talk to
essential techniques for boosting self-compassion, our scope of content is
designed to promote growth, resilience, and a positive outlook on life.
For a deeper exploration of these subjects, consider purchasing some of the
books listed in my resources section following this conclusion. These provide
expanded insight into the strategies touched upon, offering you the potential
to completely transform your relationships and, in essence, your life.
Harnessing the advice from these resources, coupled with the strategies presented here, will empower you to step into healthier relationships and a more confident version of yourself. Take that step today. You are worth it!
Resources to Continue Your Growth & Healing
1. "The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who
You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are" by Brene Brown
This groundbreaking book by Brene Brown, a research professor at the University
of Houston, has quickly become one of the definitive works on self-worth and
authenticity. Brown’s compelling narrative challenges readers to discard the
illusion of perfection and learn to embrace their unique selves.
The book offers ten guideposts that shine
with wisdom, authenticity, and humanity, encouraging readers to cultivate a
sense of self-worth. Brown's expertise lends credibility to her insights, while
her expressive writing style fosters a deep connection with readers, invoking
both compassion and courage in the quest for wholehearted living.
2. "The Self-Love Experiment: Fifteen Principles for Becoming More Kind, Compassionate, and Accepting of Yourself" by Shannon Kaiser
In her critically acclaimed book, Shannon Kaiser profoundly explores the relationship between self-love and self-worth.
The author guides readers on a genuine journey to self-acceptance, chronicling her personal struggles and triumphs. Her fifteen principles serve as liberating steps that can steer individuals toward a healthier sense of self-worth.
The book's honest narrative and empathetic tone make it a must-read for those yearning for a deeper relationship with themselves. Kaiser's life-affirming insights and practical exercises inspire readers to challenge self-defeating behaviors and strive for progress, not perfection.
3. "Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself" by Dr. Kristin Neff
Dr. Neff introduces a revolutionary perspective on building self-worth by focusing on self-compassion. Her scientific approach offers an evidence-backed exploration of self-worth, equivalent to a crash course on transforming self-criticism into self-compassion.
She expounds upon the importance of treating ourselves kindly, framing mistakes as opportunities to learn rather than failures. The book holds an engaging mix of theory, research, practical exercises, and real-life examples that make it highly relatable and incredibly beneficial for those battling with self-esteem issues.
4. "You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life" by Jen Sincero
In this fiercely honest and hilariously irreverent book, Jen Sincero takes readers on an inspiring wild ride to self-love and abundant self-worth. The author brings an all-new approach to building self-worth with her combination of humor, straight-shooting advice, and blunt wake-up calls.
This book has garnered massive praise for its empowering yet accessible take on personal development, as Sincero inspires readers to confront their self-limiting beliefs and fears and embrace their inner badass.
5. "What You Think of Me is None of My Business" by Terry Cole-Whittaker
This classic masterpiece by Terry Cole-Whittaker is a must-read for those seeking to understand or boost their self-esteem.
This book emphasizes on re-evaluating and adjusting the importance one places on others' opinions, instead of focusing on cultivating one's self-worth.
Cole-Whittaker compellingly presents this radical yet liberating idea through realistic examples, personal anecdotes, and practical exercises to enable readers to redirect self-critical thoughts into constructive self-appreciation. It's a powerful exploration of distancing oneself from negativity and trusting one's abilities.
6. "Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem" by Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning
This book is a powerful tool for anyone seeking to build their self-esteem. McKay and Fanning utilize clinically proven Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) methods to help readers understand the root causes of self-esteem issues and develop an actionable plan to combat them.
The authors offer a host of practical techniques and exercises to break free from the invisible trap of low self-esteem, empowering readers to cultivate and sustain a healthy sense of self-worth.
7. "Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It" by Kamal Ravikant
Kamal Ravikant's book serves as a powerful manifesto on the indispensable role of self-love on the journey to self-worth. Ravikant shares his personal journey of self-discovery, drawing on his life's lows and highs, resulting in an insightful and relatable narrative.
His unique and concise wisdom is profound yet accessible, making it an excellent read for anyone seeking to accelerate their journey toward embracing self-worth.
Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It"Think like Spring; always embrace renewal and growth."
I was much loved by my grandfather, he would often share his timeless wisdom with me by way of ancestral stories.
Grandfather said to me, "Everyone on this earth has two bears living inside them. One is made up of all things good...love, kindness, giving, authenticity, and forgiveness. The other bear is made up of all other things...hate, fear, greed, jealousy, deceit, and cruelty."
I asked grandfather, "Which bear wins?"
As I looked into my grandfathers eyes I saw great kindness as he answered, "It is always going to be the one you feed."
Change happens in the doing!